On Monopolies



I ask Mr. Moneybags where my money at.  He’s all, I dunno.


This game has gone horribly.  You spend the first thirty minutes like its gonna be catan, but then its gets to monopolies, and you;re just rolling around the board bleeding while NO ONE LANDS ON BOARDWALK.

I mean, no biggie.  Just, I mean, I thought that was a winning strategy.

But man, oh man, everyone else’s houses cost nothing and just rolling is a pain and you hope to god you go to jail rather than spend your money on other people’s real estate.

Say what you will about Wall Street, and the financial bubble, and Too Big to Fail.  Talk your talk about the real estate bubble and subprime mortgage.  This game covers it all.  And man, does it SUCK to land on other people’s property.  Especially the god forsaken airports.

And when I say that, I mean that God has forsaken them for the demonic properties they are.  Airports.  seriously.  One turn cost me six million.  granted, we’re playing the new version, and oh man, did I lose my shirt.

We’re not playing strip monopoly or anything.  Unless ‘strip’ is what is happened to my monopoly money.  Cuz.  It was like. Strip mining.


Woof.  But yeah.  Here are some takeaways from the SLAUGHTERFEST that was my game of monopoly:


1)  Liquid assets are incredibly worthwhile.

  • cashflow is vital. you’ll eventually need 10M to move around the board safely.
  • properties are made of gold.  pick ’em, in 3’s.
  • build houses exclusively on large $$$ properties.

So yeah.  That’s my take on monopoly.  Rough times, mens and womens. rough times.



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