So, tonight I’m joining up for a cigar and whiskey night.
This of course goes against everything ever learned in school, which was ‘don’t drink or smoke, they’ll kill you and give you cancer.’
In that order!
What I think my instructors and mentors meant was, “don’t do what I do because you’re young and have your life ahead of you. Seriously, these things cost money, like woah, and man did I blow my last paycheck on them.”
I think they would also add “everything in moderation. Including judging your childhood heroes.”
Lil’ Abner, NO!!!!!
But seriously, everything in moderation, and tonight’s a moderate night. So here’s a bit on how to do a moderate night of substance amuse properly:
— How To Drink —
1. For whiskey, check out this brilliant man here:
Richard Patterson, Blending Madman:
Great advice on how to enjoy fine whiskey. Being a poor college grad, I don’t agree with all of it, but hey! To each their own. I do agree, though, with savoring, and sipping, and taking one’s time. Which I find is best accompanied by cigars:
— How to Smoke a Cigar —
Now, this I’ve done a bit more of in my own personal experience, so:
1. Get your Mis en Scene
Cigar smoking requires a nice environment, a good cigar, and a proper cutter. Any flame-capable device can light the thing, but I recommend matches for class. The best cutter you can get is a punch cutter:
That link will take you to where you need to go to get a nice, cheap punch cutter.
Now, of course, you’ll want a good cigar. Myself, I like to try all varieties and not knock any one kind, but my friends do enjoy the triple maduro, and I know that I personally enjoy a spicier cigar. To me, &.25 is a good price for a relaxing smoke.
2. It’s kind of link a Banana
You have to peel it first. Sort of. The wrapper indicates a good ‘stopping place’ on a cigar, but fine cigars you can smoke down to the nub (at least you can if you’re poor like me). You can take that wrapper (the label around the cigar) off.
3. Sucker Punch
If you must cut the cigar, try to cut off as little as possible (but as much as you need to smoke comfortably). A punch is preferable because it doesn’t let you waste cigar than you should.
4. Do a Barrel Roll
When lighting your cigar, make sure you rotate the cigar over the flame. You can also light your cigar off of someone else’s already lit cigar. Make sure, whatever the case, that you roll the cigar as you light it. This way, when you smoke it, you’ll get an even burn. Otherwise (As has happened to me) you’ll wind up with a very slanted ash trail.
5. Take Your Time
Relax and enjoy yourself. It’s cigars and whiskey, and momentary luxury in the midst of a crippling reality where zombies have conquered most of the known world. I mean, what? You smoke that smoke cigar and you sip that fine, fine scotch.
For tomorrow, we move.