How to Draw Conclusions


Hello loyal readers!

Today, I haven’t got anything to complain about (besides scheduling, which is my constant nemesis).  So instead, I am going to show you how to draw conclusions!

Part 1. Know Your Enemy

When we want to draw something, we generally want to draw it well, so that people will know what it is.

ImageCase in point: Jackson Pollock paints the number 28.  Look at that. Perfect 28. Perfect.

So now, we want to look at a conclusion.  What do your conclusions look like?  Take a good look around to find some conclusions near you.  Don’t worry, people know what conclusions look like; you’re a person, you’ll find a conclusion soon enough.

Step 2. Finding Conclusions

Surprisingly enough, conclusions are tough creatures to come by.  I find that they like to be hidden, and often nest in places where one has to extend their arm and stretch out their hand just to access the conclusion.  Should call them reclusions, for that kind of behavior.

All that said, I believe it was Jeff Corwin who once said that all conclusions must be reached.  And he’s a professional animal interviewer, so he would know.


Its a rugged lifestyle. 


Once you’ve reached your conclusions, you’re ready to draw them.  Make sure they stay still, some folks have a hard time with shifty conclusions.

Part 3. Wrapping it Up

Sometimes it helps to wrap up with a conclusion.  I prefer to wrap mine with aluminum foil and then slowly roast them to give them a glazed, semi-cooked texture.  Just ask my friends, they’ll tell you stories of my half-baked conclusions.  

Now you might say, “But Keegan, how are we going a draw a conclusion when its wrapped up in tin?’

to which I answer, ‘foiled, again!’

But seriously, drawing conclusions is much easier once you’ve wrapped them up.  Goodness knows, conclusions put up a good fight, and it’s best to wrap up an argument before drawing your conclusions.

Besides, it’s very hard to draw a conclusion without first having an argument: you’ve got to get your conclusions tired out before they’re ready to be foiled.   I know a lot of people who have already drawn a lot of their own conclusions, and most of those conclusions are very tired.


unrelated image


Part 4.  Where I Draw a Conclusion

Okay, once your conclusions are settled and still, you are definitely ready to draw them.  Make sure you have your #2 pencil, a good heavy piece of drawing paper (or I mean, whatever’s nearby), and your game face.

Now, I recommend that you start with the face…. no, maybe the arms?  Hrmmm….  Alright, I’m trying to get one of these going right now, and even with everything in place, it’s proving kind of difficult.  Just uh… ahem. Hrm. Well.  I guess, ah, overall, I mean, just kinda… I don’t know, put pencil to paper and see what happens.  

There ya go, a definite conclusion.  Kinda sketchy, but hey.  That’s art for ya, right?

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